February 2012
3 posts
This is the first year the anniversary of my dads death came & went & I didn’t remember. Weird. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not…
January 2012
13 posts
just had the most revitalizing visit with my Lisa in Chicago—took a bunch of great polaroids & will try to post soon!
Chicago was great & Lisa’s apartment was rock. I didn’t really do much touristy stuff because what I really wanted was just time with my best friend, so it was perfect. My favorite part was our morning coffee shop runs and our photo session by the lake....
maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach (to play one day)
and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and
milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;
and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles: and
may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world...
I don’t care how in denial you are;
I end up with a pair of your old socks in my underwear drawer & I don’t know how they got there
Oh yeah, wait, i know how they got there:
I was your FREAKING girlfriend. This is my proof.
This post makes me sound like a psychopath. Also it makes me laugh.
“Pity would be no more
If we did not make somebody Poor;
And Mercy no more...”
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.”
— T. S. Eliot
December 2011
11 posts
“I gave him an autoharp for his birthday and wrote him long poems on my lunch break at Scribner’s. I was hopeful he would be my boyfriend, but as it turned out, that was an improbable expectation. I would never serve as the source of his inspiration, though in attempting to articulate the drama of my feelings I became more prolific and I believe a better writer.
Jim and I had some...
Merry Christmas Mir, thinking about you. I love you
Merry christmas franny pi love you too miss you everyday
———-
Why a year and a half later does this still make me cry?…sometimes I think about how I’ve really messed up my life & I can’t go backwards. My head hurts all the time & my heart isn’t pumping right anymore.
I can’t go back...
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart): i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest...
November 2011
4 posts
Little Revolutions of my own.
I’m starting the shoot for my first film tomorrow!
maybe I am just happy because (I’m out of all coffee except decaf..so I decided I could get the same effect by brewing a cup of decaf and using that to chase 2 caffeen pills lol….) anyway I would like to say:
despite going into tech for another show at the same time as an assistant, and not having a thanksgiving to speak of,...
This morning: as I walked down my street in williamsburg towards the subway listening to Florence& the machine on my iPhone really loudly, jumping the puddles in my vintage moccasin-clad feet and I realized: shit. How the fuck did I become such a stereotype??
& then I tumbled about it.
Hahahahahahaha. I don’t care; I really like my life right now. :)
In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer
October 2011
14 posts
Love: Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adults, 19 to 40 years)
Psychosocial Crisis: Intimacy vs. Isolation
Main Question: “Am I loved and wanted?” or “Shall I share my life with someone or live alone?”
Virtue: Love
Related Elements in Society: patterns of cooperation (often marriage)
Main article: Young adult (psychology)
The Intimacy vs. Isolation conflict is...
Nine Months. (Nine.)
Nine.
She leans against the dirty brick wall as she takes a drag of the cigarette. It sticks in her lungs and catches her for a moment. She doesn’t smoke, just lately. The city lights tell a story of human progress in the distance. She thinks about how far we have come and how simple we still are.
She imagines Him in front of her. She pounds her fists hard into His chest and screams. The...
Nine Months. (Eight.)
Eight.
He kisses her. She begins to laugh.
You look at me the same way you look at one of your Turkish paistries before you take a bite out of it.
She can see him thinking, then he begins to smile as he pulls her toward him.
Well it makes sense. You are like a pastry. You taste so sweet
(In a moment of vulnerability she blurts)
I want to know everything about you. I’m so curious. I mean, that’s...
Nine Months. (Seven.)
Seven.
I don’t want to talk about this
Friends talk about this stuff if we are going to be friends I need to be able to talk about this stuff with you. Whats his name?
I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS
People at adjacent tables look up in alarm.
He stares at her.
His name is Emir.
Is he Turkish?? You are dating a fucking Turkish guy??? He is going to cheat on you, you know that, right?
You don’t...
Nine Months. (Six.)
Six.
You have the soul of a baby bird.
She has told him everything about herself. She has spilled secrets even her best friends know nothing of, simply because he somehow knew to ask. He has seen into the ugliest compartments of her brain, and his response is to tell her that she has the soul of a baby bird.
She wonders what it must be like inside the ugliest compartments of his brain. She...
Nine Months. (Five.)
***
Five.
Its dark on the rooftop and she likes it up here, but she hates the way he grins at her. Its goofy, but at the same time creepy. He is too skinny and he likes her too much. He is too tender when he talks to her. He is too supportive of her emotional outbursts and her over-sharing. It makes her skin crawl.
I am going to kiss you again is that OK? She has previously told him not to kiss...
Nine Months. (Four.)
Four.
stop stop stop just wait a second
he stops kissing her and she cathes her breath
im sorry. This is weird. I just cant have sex with you OK? I mean I’d like to its just, it would be sad if this happened and then…
we never see each other again?
Yes exactly.
You are right
I’m sorry.
He shrugs his shoulders. Don’t apologize. You are the kind of girl men marry.
Huh?
There are 2 kinds of girls....
Nine Months. (Three.)
Three.
She can see him talking with his roommate, just out of what he thinks is earshot. He is wrong. Here and there she can make out a word, a gesture between them that suggests they are discussing her.
She is sweet right?
Yeah, she seems like a sweet girl.
Somehow he is saying the words regretfully, and she is bewildered at how painfully wrong the evening seems to be going. There is something...
Nine Months. (Two.)
Two.
He has his arm around her, she has a drink in her hand that he paid for. He is so much older.
He tucks her hair behind her ear, such an intimate gesture for a stranger she thinks. As he runs a finger down her spine, he leans in and whispers
You have such beautiful skin. I cant wait to make it sweat.
She doesn’t believe what he said about her skin is true, and she blushes.
***
Nine Months. (One.)
One.
She is in the elevator and wearing a white dress for the first day of warm weather in spring. The doors open, and he is standing there, with a coffee in one hand and his phone in the other.
A moment happens.
He shakes his head and gets in right as the doors start to close again. Another moment as his back is to her. Then he turns.
He hesitates, looks up at her and says
I don’t mean any...
i like my body when it is with your →
i like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more. i like your body. i like what it does, i like its hows. i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss, i like kissing this and that of you, i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur,...
ive been really crabby lately, and Im not sure why. I think probably its school and how much time I spend there, though I know I am so lucky to be doing what I am doing and that I am learning so much.
its just…Im missing the happy tan Mira who went to the beach every day and had such positive energy. I am constantly putting out fires now and juggling so much work, trying so hard not to drop...
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
15 posts
you know how humanity has pivotal cultural years, where the stars seem to align and create some freak year that is somehow monumental? & we are constantly referring back to it (for example, in America, 1969.)
well for my life, 2011 would be one of these years.
epic floods in my home state AND in my adopted state. End to epic relationship and the beginnings of school, dating (!), and living...
In the immortal words of Glenna:
“dating in NY: it’s like eating & shitting at the same time”
Lolllllll SO true! Try to keep something else in the works while the last thing goes to hell
WatchThis is where I came from.
Video taken at the farm, where my family homesteaded generations ago.
